A small collection of thoughts from July
July has been such a lovely busy month, so full of new experiences and trips. I’ve been busy with work too and probably cramming in too much at once. There’s been a few days where I’ve woken up with a bone-deep tiredness which means I need to hide away for a few days and restore my battery before I burn out! Life gets easier as an introvert when you realise that scheduling a day by yourself after a social event is usually a good idea.
One of my goals this year was to be better at applying to opportunities and sending my portfolio to Art Directors, as- more than ever- it’s needed. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m constantly on the lookout or if the culture of the industry is changing slightly, but I’ve noticed that there are a lot of illustration jobs being put out on social media with an open application process. I’ve applied to several of these in the past few weeks, determined not to let opportunities pass me by, but it’s always a challenge fitting it in around commissions. One publisher I sent my portfolio to said they received over 800 portfolios, another informed us that they’d need an extra month to get through everyone’s applications because there were so many!
The entirety of the first week of July was spent creating prospective work and applying to illustration projects in the hope that something might come off later in the year. I loved the whole process, I loved creating new things…. and I know that in the long run it will pay off somewhere. It creates good energy, leaves you with a fresh portfolio of new work and is just part of the deal as an illustrator. But sometimes it's good to take a step back and acknowledge that being an illustrator is both wonderful and incredibly competitive. It can be frustrating and stressful to have to work so hard without being directly paid. I also have a lot of feelings about the sheer amount of big companies now asking illustrators to submit a fully finished project rather than commissioning someone or paying for a sample artwork. That’s for another day, but all I’ll say is that it’s tiring to see it happen so frequently.
Above: Some of the artwork I’ve submitted to various illustration jobs this month
I’ve also been trying to find the balance between creating authentic, personal work alongside being productive. As an illustrator I have to do all of the right things so that I’m actually earning a living, and protect the space that is needed to produce meaningful work from a thoughtful place. Often, I find burnout comes not just from stretching yourself to thinly but from leaving no time for play. It’s so easy to be a machine fulfilling deadlines and marketing things. Someone once told me that creativity is a bit like a river, and it needs a source, otherwise it runs dry. Time and time again I’ve found that to be true- and I forget it constantly too.
This month, I’ve enjoyed a real rest from my desk, seeing new places and keeping a little personal sketchbook just for fun. I’ve also felt guilty for doing so! There are people waiting for commissions from me, and I am constantly aware of that. Despite the guilt, I’ve really noticed the difference in how I feel now that I’m back at my desk working. In my experience the quicker you go, the more your world just speeds up and you never quite catch up. I hope I can keep remembering that I can be efficient without burning out, and that the process is the whole point; that’s where the humanity lies and authentic work comes from. That’s how people connect with what you’re making, and people can feel the difference.
Sketchbook development work from a recent project
I’ve also had a few little moments of wondering what the future holds, and where illustration will be in the next few years. Ever since graduating I’ve been incredibly fortunate in that I haven’t had many gaps in-between commissions at all. I look back to 2014 when I was starting out as a freelancer with rose-tinted glasses on, probably…. but I know I was trying to establish myself at a time where illustration was a thriving industry. I recently heard someone refer to this time as a ‘golden age of illustration’ and that made sense to me. I can’t get away from the fact that as I look at my old work now (cringing!) I see that I had a long way to go and I knew so little (and had a slightly naive kind of faith that it would all work out.) Eleven years on, and I’ve had a lot of life experience, and can recognise that sometimes I can lack a bit of faith compared to the me from back then. Maybe a little bit of fear has crept in, or maybe it’s an understandable reaction the current world and where illustration is at the moment. Every time I question things too much though, I think- no. I absolutely love this job, I love illustrating, it’s in my bones. I am where I am supposed to be. And while I’m questioning what the future holds, in the present I’m still doing it, still making new things. As James Hughes of the Illustrator’s Guide has talked about- all through history, artists have been fighting to create work against the odds. This really is nothing new at all.
Small moments from studying Illustration at Falmouth, 11 years ago!
I recently had the honour of illustrating the order of service for the funeral of a friend, and the process of that really stayed with me. It felt more important than ever to get this right, and I spent a day really struggling to find my way with it, questioning myself. However, something changed on day two when I got into a flow state. I started working intuitively, getting completely lost in the work and instinctively knowing when it was feeling ‘right.’ The process felt like it happened beyond or outside of me, and I could almost hear my friend chatting away with me as I worked, directing me, telling me what colours they liked. There’s a concept in Christianity called ‘thin space’ where the boundary or veil separating the physical world from the divine lessens, and something about this process felt akin to that. It reminded me of the transcendent aspect of the creative process. I don’t want to contribute to the noise constantly being generated in the world of AI. I want my illustrations to be authentic and bring joy to people. And in order to create authentic art, my process needs to be authentic too. Sometimes that might be a little bit slower and inefficient than the world seems to demand, and sometimes I’ll need to rest and experience things to be able to make things that feel honest.
